Apart of the Journey

After months of considering it and choosing to keep our journey private I have decided I want to share it with you! It's been so amazing I just want to share what's it's been like from my point of view. The view of a surrogate.

Many people don't know but just over a year ago I met with this amazing couple from France! They were looking to have a baby and I was looking to have one for someone!

 I'm so grateful for our meeting!! It's like the stars aligned for this!

It was like fate when we started talking! Everything just made sense!! I had previously matched with 2 other couples and it didn't end up working out. I felt a little broken inside.. I just wanted to help make a family! It didn't seem like it was going to happen. I decided to look through profiles one last time and that was when I found them!!! Just reading there profile and watching there video I fell in love with these two strangers!! I knew right away this was the couple I wanted to carry for! I could feel so much love between them it just felt so right!

After a couple weeks we got to have our first video chat and officially see each other! It was like long term friends coming together!!! I couldn't stop smiling! We have so much in common and so much to talk about!

We both decided to move forward with the process knowing this was a good match!

After that the medical side of things started! I stared meds and injections. I went for multiple test to make sure everything was in good working order. This came with its ups and downs. The injections were harder and came with some issues. Rob was so amazing!! He was giving me them everyday! I wasn't able to stab myself.  I know it sounds silly.. this was the one thing I just couldn't bring my self to do it. I'm so thankful for him!!

After all testing was done and I was approved to carry a baby things started to get more real!! We had to follow my cycle and that meant the transfer would take place in March!

After what felt like a long time coming it was done!!

A little 6 day old embryo was put in my uterus!! Then we had a two week wait till I went for beta testing. Naturally I couldn't wait that long so I got some test and a week and a half after I took my first test. It was faint but it was POSITIVE!! I felt so much joy in this moment   I message my couple asap! I couldn't hold it in!! I had to call these amazing guys and tell them they were going to be fathers!!! This brought so much joy to my heart!

From that day on it has just been amazing! We have gotten closer and closer and my kids have just fallen in love with them as have we! We have been on so many adventures together as this little baby grows inside me!  

Although being a surrogate can be challenging for sure and growing a human is not easy it's just right!! Everything about this journey is just right!. You can see and feel the love between these two! I'm so happy I'm the one that's has the privilege of making them fathers!

Yes I'm exhausted and sore! I'm also moody and emotionally drained.. I'm swollen and my hips have been giving me more trouble then I could ever have imagined.. this comes with pregnancy... this is all temporary! This is pain with a purpose! The purpose of building a family! So for me this makes it worth it. This makes it all seem so small in such a bigger picture.

My pain now is but a dot in the time line.. I picture them holding there sweet baby girl and then time skips to them walking down the street holding her hand! To all the memories that are to come and it just seems so small! Pain is temporary! Love and family is forever!

I have had the amazing privilege of having my own two and don't even remember the pain felt .. I know there was pain... it just doesn't matter anymore that I have my beautiful crazy babies to love and hold!

We are coming to the end of part one of the journey as we only have 7 weeks left!!! Then a new phase will start! Parenthood! That I get to watch grow and blossom! Watching my little surro babe grow is going to bring me so much love and joy! I'm looking forward to it so much!!! I feel so full and so complete with journey! The support I have felt from my close family and friends as well as my couple is unbelievable!! If this is something you have even considered you should definitely look into it more!  

My kids are so involved with this as well! We have been very open with them from the start about this not being our baby to bring home. At first they didn't fully understand but after meeting with our couple and just loving them so much it become real for them that we are helping create a family. They are so helpful and want to tell the world about it. They are both so excited to meet this baby! They love feeling her move and seeing photos of her.

Now.. nesting... this has probably been the most interesting part of things for me... as this is not my baby I don't have things to prepare. This has put me in a weird place... I find myself cleaning often and packing and unpacking my hospital bag. I have also been organizing and re organizing things as they just don't feel right the first time. I feel very restless and I'm just not sure what to do with myself somedays.

I know I have made this sounds flawless.. it 100% wasn't I was very sick in the beginning and she has been sitting very low that caused me some issues forsure. As I said before this is all pain with a purpose and is all temporary. None of that controls the outcome of this journey. None of that will effect my choice on if I chose to do it again after this!