A New Chapter.

The ending of one journey and the start of a new!

I have labored, birthed, fallen in love and said goodbye.

This was an emotional and amazing journey for everyone one involved.

This is the process from the view of a surrogate,

I went into the hospital they broke my waters this starting regular contractions every three minutes. This was a peaceful time In the hospital. I could just see the excitement on the father's faces as they awaited the arrival of there baby girl.

Things where progressing slower so they started Pitocin. At this point everyone was so tired so I suggested everyone take a nap. I was alone and In a bubble of bliss for a moment the clam before the storm if you will, As the contractions started to get stronger I was able to connect with my body and breath through them meditating on these amazing men that are in my life becoming father's! That I was the one that got to make them fathers!!! Every breath came with a smile, I'm making a family! This is pain with a purpose, the purpose of life, love, and family.

As the sun started to rise the contraction intensity got stronger and stronger. We all came back together plus our Doula (Amy Silva) came into the room welcoming a completely different energy. While things were still calmer I could breath well through contractions but things were getting more intense for sure. I was focused I was determined. This amazing men will meet there baby soon!

As the labor of love continues I could feel so much love and support around me. I could hear the tears of understanding as everything intensified. I could feel both of there hands on me supporting me physically. They understood what my body was going through in that moment to complete this journey.

The more things progressed the closer we felt! I could feel the love and nature of things taking place. These men stepped in to a massive roll to meet there daughter. Everything around me was so fuzzy as the pain was overwhelming in this moment I just remember reaching my hand out towards them in desperation to feel that connection! I didn't get just one! I got both!! They held my hand from then on till birth! This was a form of support I didn't know I was going to need. The fathers took there place to help support my body to bring there daughter into this world. Everything felt so natural it was like one unit working together as a flawless team.

My husband at my side supporting my head and hand, Our doula there supporting my body and every other person in the room! The father's becoming one with the process in the moment supporting my body, holding my hand. The room was filled with words of encouragement and advice.

As she was born the room filled with smiles and a breath of relief as the hard part was over. She was here!!! We did it! we built a family. As they took her off me and passed her to her father's I took a moment to take everything in. I looked over to see the tears of joy as they embraced there daughter they had been waiting so long to meet and I was overwhelmed with joy. I did that!!! I felt so complete in this moment overwhelmed with emotions and overall love!

In the days to come I was able to focus on healing my body and watch these amazing men fill the roles of fatherhood. This was life changing for me. They are so Natural with there daughter. I got to help with questions and teach them things they didn't know. This just made me feel more connected in this journey overall. I'm so gratetful for the days we got to spend together after birth. As a surrogate I got to heal and reconnect with my partner as well as help guide where I was needed and embrace this beautiful baby I birthed all while knowing this amazing journey is just a start to the rest of there life. I get to watch this new family bloom and grow!

Many have asked me what I get out of this. They have told me it's a big thing to give for nothing.

I can sit here to today and tell you it's not nothing! It's the best gift any one can give. It's not just a gift for the couple. This was just as much a gift for myself. This was a dream I had I didn't know I could do. This was something that made me feel good all the time. I never wanted praise or material things. For me this was mental this was passion this was pure love! To give someone something they couldn't achieve on there own that I have had the joy of having for ten years now was fulfilling in everyway!

These men have given me the best gifts I could have ever asked for love and support! As well as a beautiful necklace but most of all and the most unexpected and most meaningful gift I have ever received a sweet baby that holds My name as a middle name.

As I sit at home with my body still recovering from the birth of a child my arms are empty yet my heart is so full! This was a journey of compassion and strength. This was something I was meant to do! The universe brought me this couple and it was good! It was meant to be! The way our families have become entwined in the past year is unbreakable. This journey has taught me so much about myself. It has opened so many doors for the future and over all made me feel complete in so many ways.

Also can't end this with out thanking my amazing partner Rob! With out him this wouldn't have been possible. He was my rock from beginning till end. He even ended up with the name Dr.Rob as he was the one that eased so much pain for me and got me through the hard moments. I'm so thankful for everything he did! I couldn't have asked for a better partner to be by my side.

I'm so grateful for this life changing journey thank you for coming along on it with me